Buzzwords versus Fresh Language

  Question: How do you rid words in an organization that become the buzz of leaders and then get watered down?   A leader’s job is to consistently communicate the vision and mission of the organization. I love when entrepreneurial expert Dean Hamish said, “if they’re not mocking you, you’re not saying it enough!” On…

Behavior Request

Discrepancy and Behavior Request Confrontations

Discrepancy Confrontation The Discrepancy Confrontation is one of the most useful tools in the Influencing Options model because it is a low risk, low control confrontation. It is often a way to enter into a confrontation in order to gain more information or additional insight. It may be a larger time investment, initially, because you are…

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Particular Influencing Conversations

A lot of times, people want to imagine it takes entirely different skill sets to influence different people, based on their position especially and their relationship secondarily. For example, some believe that influencing up is the most challenging of all; some believe they have no power to influence vendors or suppliers or customers. In reality,…

“By That I Mean . . .” Asking for What You Want

I have no idea why we do this, but we often focus on what we don’t want – the understandable behaviors or characteristics – and we do so because it’s then that we notice there’s something we don’t like that needs to be changed. I do think this is necessary. We need the contrast. We…

Discrepancy Confrontation Template

Post Valentine’s Day Advice

While it is true that the Influencing Options® skills and concepts have been changing the cultures of Fortune 500 companies for nearly three decades, did you know that these concepts originated in the field of family therapy- specifically in improving the relationships between parents and children? In fact, some of our favorites stories from our work…

Redefining Confrontation

Most people hate confrontational people. If not “hate,” they at least try to avoid them because frankly, they’re unpleasant when they are angry; up-in-your-face, neck veins bulging and temperature rising. Even if they’re not losing their temper, steely-eyed confrontations with authority figures create fear and we will forever loathe the next conversation with them. Or,…

Accountability is NOT a Four Letter Word

A lot of times, when I’m working with my executive coaching clients, we talk about accountability. They want their employees to be more accountable. They want the people they are supervising to take ownership, to step up, to rally–whatever euphemism or metaphor we can come up with, they want people to be responsible for their…

Terminal Uniqueness

Terminal uniqueness is a challenging malady: it often affects the first-born, inexperienced entrepreneurs, people in cutting edge industries, and just about every sales person I’ve ever encountered. Definition: the belief that no one, anywhere, in any situation has ever faced exactly what you have. Nobody. To be fair, I do believe each person is unique with special…

Get Up High Enough to See…

“In every landscape, the point of astonishment is the meeting of the sky and the earth. Beauty breaks in everywhere.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nature   I love Emerson as much as I love Thoreau (aka “Live deep and suck the marrow out of life” guy). I think there’s something in these writings for everyone, and…

Dreading a high-stress, difficult conversation?

Sometimes we dread having those conversations that we really need to have: confronting a client, addressing an issue with an employee, or even resolving a problem with someone in our personal lives. My goal in these situations is to remain Calm and Confident. Here are Libby’s Three P’s for Challenging Conversations: 1. Preparation: spend some time preparing for your…